I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
