Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
