Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
