Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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