I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
