In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
