My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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