so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
