What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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