i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
