At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
