I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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