I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
