I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
