Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
