Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
