I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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