Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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