I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
