If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
