People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
