:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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