what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
