i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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