Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Randomize
