Buhtt sex?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
So many bounce houses so little time
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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