She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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