Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
