They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
