so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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