the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
