Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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