he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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