Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
my being single is dangerous.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
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