I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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