i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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