i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
The uberlube is also flammable
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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