I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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