We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
