ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
