my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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