How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
