I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
