Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
