i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
