do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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