its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
