I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Porn is love you can see.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
