And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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