i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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