Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
