we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
