he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
