her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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