Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
