It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
