No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
